Number Twelve: Cinderella

Cinderella

1950

At one point in my life, I had twenty four mice. No, I did not have a rodent infestation, though my mother would disagree with me on that point. They were the cutest little balls of awesome anyone would have ever seen. I would carry them around all over the house, and I could tell each one apart. I’m not crazy. I promise.

You see, at least I never made my mice friends clothes, unlike Cinderella. I’m slightly surprised I didn’t, it would have made keeping them all straight a whole lot easier.

Cinderella is another Disney princess I happen to dislike. She’s boring. She does everything she’s told and seems somewhat okay with being a personal slave to her evil stepmother. I am beginning to think Walt Disney had a problem with a step mother somewhere in his life, because he sure seems to hate on them at every chance he can.

Once upon a time, Cinderella was happy. Her father was alive, and that was good. Then her father died, and it was bad. Her stepmother reveals then that she is an evil mean lady. She forces Cinderella to become her maid and makes her live in the tower.

Cinderella is kind of okay with this. She is the most optimistic person to ever have lived. Well, to exist in film. Every morning she wakes up with hope that today her dreams will come true. It’s all nauseating.

She goes through her day, talking to her various animal friends, and cleaning up a storm. As she is cleaning, there is a knock on the door. It is a messenger from the palace, inviting all eligible ladies to come and meet the prince.

You see, the king has decided he wants grandkids, like yesterday. In order to get them respectfully, he must marry off his son, Prince Charming. I thought Prince Charming was married to Snow White. The dirty rotten scoundrel.

In order to find him a suitable bride, the king hosts a ball so PC can meet all sorts of girls. PC is really not keen to this idea, but he goes through with it anyway.

Back at the mansion, Cinderella is desperately trying to convince her stepmother to let her go to the ball. Stepmother agrees, but only is Cinderella can get all of her chores done and find something acceptable to wear. Assuring her she can do this, Cinderella sets off to work.

All of her mice friends know there is no way she will ever be able to finish her chores and fix up one of her mother’s old gowns before the ball starts, so they begin to work on the dress for her. It would be so sweet to have a committee of mice that would make you clothes. I need to figure out how to get one. That’s what I should have done with all my mice! I always think of fantastic ideas too late.

It is time to leave for the ball, and Cinderella is now ready. She goes down dressed all nice, which makes her ugly stepsisters jealous. They notice some of their old scraps of clothing and jewelry attached to her dress, and rip it to shreds. Now poor Cinderella can’t go to the ball. Woe is her.

This is where it would be extremely convenient to have a fairy godmother. Well Cinderella is in luck! Because poof! Her fairy godmother appears, gives her a carriage, some servants, a beautiful dress, and a curfew. Where can I get a fairy godmother? Do I have to sign up for it? Or do I just get one by having a sucky life? If anyone has any information on this subject, I’d gladly appreciate you sharing it.

Anyway, Cinderella takes off in her carriage, meets PC, and parties for the whole evening with him. Right as things start to get serious, the clock strikes midnight, and Cinderella has to hightail it out of there, less she risk being caught in rags in front of her prince. As she is running away, she drops the famous glass slipper. PC finds it, and vows to find the maiden whose foot fits it, and marry her.

The next stay, Cinderella is in a state of euphoria. She’s completely consumed by happiness. When she hears the news the prince is looking for her, she becomes a total spaceball. Evil stepmother notices this, and when Cinderella starts humming a song from the ball the evening before, Stepmother realizes she was the girl of who the prince was smitten. After this discovery, Stepmother locks Cinderella in her tower.

Once she is safely locked away, the duke arrives at the mansion to have all the girls there try on the glass slipper. Obviously it does not fit either of the ugly stepsisters, their feet are far too large. While they are trying it on, two of Cinderella’s mice friends, Jaq and Gus, sneak into Stepmother’s pocket and steal the key to Cinderella’s room. In order to free her, these two rodents must climb at least ten flights of stairs. They successfully do so, but once they reach the top they run into the house cat Lucifer. Really this cat lives up to his name. He traps Gus and the key under a tea cup. It’s up to the other animals to free him, and they do so by summoning Bruno, the dog. He chases Lucifer out of a window where he plunges to his death. Hehe. It’s a little bit funny, I promise.

Now that the key is free, the mice deliver it to Cinderella, who races down the stairs. She is just in time to stop the duke from leaving. As the servant holding the slipper goes to Cinderella to let her try it, Stepmother holds out her cane and trips him. The slipper shatters. But never fear! Cinderella has the other one, and therefore is able to prove she is the girl from the ball. She and Prince Charming get married, making him a polygamist, and they live happily ever after. The end.

I have a confession. I’m not that big a fan of princess movies. Cinderella is just kind of okay for me. It doesn’t help that I dislike the main character. Maybe it’s not princess movies, it’s just princesses in general. Most of them are the same. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, really there isn’t much of a difference between them. They all are rather weak characters with no backbones who just accept their circumstances. So that is my main problem with this movie.

At the same time, there are parts of this movie I love. Every scene that involves the kind and duke arguing is hilarious. The ugly stepsisters and the evil stepmother are perfect villains. All the animals are wonderful. They make me miss my mice. I could always try making clothes for my rat I guess, but I have a feeling it just wouldn’t be the same. Plus I don’t think Mouse, the rat, would be very happy if I tried that. Oh well.

Movie Watching Budd(y)(ies): Leslie.

Best Song: “The Work Song” sung by the mice. This is why I need a fleet of mice. Fleet? Can I call them that? I don’t really know.

Best Part: When Jaq and Gus are running away from Lucifer, and they hit his nose with a button. Once hit, his nose is shaped like a button, and it’s one of my favorite parts in any Disney movie.