Number Two: Pinocchio

Pinocchio

1940

When I grow up, I think I should become a conscience. Don’t you think that would be a fantastically fun job? Telling people what is right, yelling at them when they choose to do wrong, I think it would be a blast! Unfortunately, no one really likes their conscience. They can be obnoxious little creatures I suppose. But not me! I’d be the best conscience anyone could ever wish for.

Well maybe not the best. I do believe that title should go to Jiminy Cricket, the poor conscience of Pinocchio. 

He has a seriously rough job, but is still able to keep Pinocchio on the straight and narrow. Most of the time. Sometimes it can be challenging when things like anthropomorphic  foxes and offers to go to Pleasure Island are around.

The film opens with Jiminy breaking into a complete stranger’s house. I feel like this is reoccurring theme in Disney movies that it is totally fine to break into someone’s house is not the best message to be sending, though I feel that way about a lot of the messages, so we’ll just ignore this.

This complete stranger goes by the name of Geppetto. He is a simple woodcarver, who makes a variety of creations, such as clocks, music boxes, and of course puppets. One particular puppet is so incredibly life like Geppetto wishes it could become a real boy. This puppet is named Pinocchio (duh). Off he goes to bed with his cat, Figero (quite possibly one of the most underrated characters of all time).

Luckily for Geppetto, his wish is heard by the Blue Fairy. She shows up and goes POOF Pinocchio, making him come to life! However, he still is not a real boy. He just talks and walks and does everything else like a human! So not real.

In order to become a “real boy” Pinocchio must learn to be brave, truthful, and unselfish. To do so, he must have a conscience. Jiminy Cricket happens to be around, and explains what a conscience is to Pinocchio. “A conscience is that shrill voice people don’t listen to.” That pretty much sums it up, but he goes on to say it is what tells you what is right and what is wrong. Since he’s so good at knowing what it is, the fairy asks Jiminy if he would be Pinocchio’s conscience, to which he agrees.

Little did he know it would be a difficult task indeed. Pinocchio, after being discovered by the thrilled Geppetto, is told he must attend school in order to “get smart.” Off he skips the next morning, books in hand, with his conscience right behind him.

Out in the town, the anthropomorphic (best word ever) fox mentioned above is lurking about with his pal, a cat. With a name like Honest John this fox can be up to no good. He sees Pinocchio and is immediately thinking of ways on how to profit from a live puppet. Honest John tells Pinocchio the quickest and easiest way to success is not school, but the THEATRE. I so agree. Theatre > school any day of the week.

Pinocchio, forgetting all about his conscience, runs off with the pair of devious animals and begins to star in Stromboli’s puppet show. Immensely he enjoys this, until he soon realizes that he is practically a slave, not allowed to ever return to his father. The evil Stromboli shuts him up in a cage. Poor Pinocchio.

I JUST REMEMBERED. Geppetto has a sweet moustache. This really has no relevance to the story whatsoever, but I felt like it needed to be shared.

Anyway, Pinocchio is obviously upset. The Blue Fairy arrives again and asks what on earth Pinocchio is doing in a cage. He builds an elaborate story so she won’t know that he skipped school. As he tells his lie, his nose begins to grow. And grow. And eventually sprout a bird’s nest, complete with a cute little bird family. The fairy is no dummy and notices. She tells him lying is bad and makes his nose grow. Well, duh… She fixes his nose and tells him to be a good boy.

Off Pinocchio goes again, ready to try again. Whilst this is going on, Geppetto, being the perfect moustached father he is, is out in a storm looking for Pinnocchio. He never finds him, because Pinocchio once again is getting caught up in mischief. This time he is off to Pleasure Island, which is the worst name in the history of names for an amusement park. I won’t tell you what it makes me think of. Here he has a load of fun with all the other boys this fat man the fox and cat happen to be working for has brought to the island. Unfortunately, they are all turned into donkeys and sold to salt mines. The fat man really is a nasty kind of character, now isn’t he? To be fair, all these kids were annoying little brats, so I don’t really feel any empathy for them. Pinocchio is warned by Jiminy and escapes before being fully turned into a donkey. He still gets’ the ears and tail though. He deserves it though, don’t worry.

He finally returns home, only to find a note delivered  by a dove from Heaven, saying while Geppetto was looking for Pinocchio, he was swallowed by the monstrous whale, coincidentally named Monstro. Fun fact for the day, in the original story, this whale was big enough to swallow a train! So swallowing Geppetto should be a snap. Whatever he was doing at sea looking for Pinocchio I have no idea… Silly man.

Pinocchio, being the genius he is, decides to save his father by sinking himself to the bottom of the sea, in hopes to be consumed by this large water mammal. Um. I don’t even want to talk about why this is a bad idea, so we shall move on.

The plan works, Pinocchio is eaten. Once he is reunited with Geppetto, they build a fire, so the smoke will cause Monstro to sneeze. It works, and they are blown to shore. The Blue Fairy recognizes his actions, and makes Pinocchio a real boy. And for all of his hard work, Jiminy Cricket is awarded an official conscience badge.

As a child, this movie scared the living daylights out of me. What living daylights are, I have no clue, but I am pretty sure they no longer dwell in me, because of this movie. When all of the boys were turned into donkeys, it made me never want to go to a carnival again, lest I suffer the same fate these children did. And don’t get me started on the whale. That thing still makes me wary to go to the beach. One look at Stromboli’s face was enough to cause me to lose sleep for weeks afterwards.

Besides the frightening aspects, this movie is fairly good. It was never my favorite, and probably won’t ever be, but still, it is a solid Disney classic. Some of the characters are perfect, like the cat Figero and of course, Jiminy Cricket. Even though I was watching this on a twenty year old VHS, it was still pretty, and it some cases gorgeous to watch. Before I go, I will leave you with this question to ponder. If Pinocchio said, “My nose will grow now!” what would happen?

Movie Watching Budd(y)(ies): Leslie

Best Song: “I’ve Got No Strings!” Because watching him trip down the stairs is funny every single time.

Best Part: When we first get a look at all the clocks, because some of them are remarkable pieces of craftsmanship Just look at them. I want them all.