Number Four: Dumbo

Dumbo

1941

Did you know that elephants are the only land animals that can cry tears of emotions? Well you do now! Elephants are truly fascinating creatures. Their trunks are sensitive enough to pick up a single blade of grass! 

They also produce eighty pounds of poop per day. It’s kind of disgusting actually.

Elephants have always been my favorite animal, mainly because of this movie. Dumbo has got to be the cutest thing in the history of all animated films. The fact he has large ears and uses them to fly just makes him even more endearing.

The movie opens with a stork invasion. Storks are delivering babies to a circus. I want to be a stork. It would be so much fun! Sometimes it would be so awesome if reincarnation was real, because if it was I could actually have a chance at this wish coming true.

All of the mommy animals are delivered their various adorable fluffballs, all except for Mrs. Jumbo, one of the elephants. She is expecting one, and it is nowhere to be seen.

But not to worry! Her stork is just a little lost. He can’t find his way around Florida you see. After he makes a quick stop on a cloud to straighten himself out, he successfully locates Mrs. Jumbo and gives her a bundle.

In the bundle is the most precious thing anyone has ever seen. All the other elephants are total jerks and make fun of Jumbo Juinor, as he is referred to by his mother. The evil elephants meanly rename him Dumbo, because of his abnormal ear size. Mrs. Jumbo doesn’t care  about them, she thinks he still lovely.

Unfortunately, everyone else seems to agree with the other elephants, and even the public teases him. Mrs. Jumbo can no longer take it, and starts beating children. This is an obvious problem for the circus, and the workers lock her up. To be extra cruel, they put her in solitary confinement.

Of course, this all saddens dear little Dumbo. It all gets worse when he goes to perform with the other elephants, trips on his ears, and ends up taking the whole big top down. Because of this mishap, he is demoted to being a clown. *Shivers.

I hate clowns. All of them. When they try to talk to me at circuses, I quickly walk away. I want nothing to do with them. They are stupid and not funny and are probably axe murders in their spare time. This movie just further cements the idea that clowns are the scum of the earth. (If any clowns out there are reading this, please take personal offense to this, I hate you and wish you didn’t exist.)

The terrible clowns dress Dumbo up and then stick him in a burning building. After running around like crazy men, which they are, they attempt to use gas to put the fire out. This isn’t funny, this is a public safety hazard. Idiots. To top it all off, they push Dumbo out of the building into a trampoline thing filled with pie filling. Poor little guy.

To cheer him up, one of Dumbo’s friend, Timothy the mouse, takes him to go visit his mother. Since she is in prison, she can only reach out her trunk to touch him, but that’s enough for Dumbo. That scene is so sad and touching. If it doesn’t move you, obviously your heart is made of stone.

The stupid waste of space clowns start to drink and party after their show, and accidentally knock a bottle of champagne into Dumbo’s water. He and Timothy have a nice long drink, and get totally hammered.

While intoxicated, they begin to play with bubbles and hallucinate pink elephants everywhere. It’s super 

trippy. Eventually they both fall asleep.

They are discovered high up in a tree by some crows. Once awoken, neither Timothy nor Dumbo believe what this group of birds has to say as to how they came to be in the tree. They say that Dumbo flew up. But that’s impossible, because he’s an elephant! Or is it?

The crows decide that in order for him to believe that he can actually fly, Dumbo needs to possess a magic feather. Once he is given this magic feather, Dumbo’s confidence is boosted and he gives flying a whirl. It works! He can fly! Even after losing his magic feather during another clown act, he still is able to fly, and does so forever after. His momma is let out of prison and he lives happily ever after.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. This movie is the cutest thing ever. In no way is it anything like other Disney movies when it comes to the actual art and drawing, but it sure makes up for it in cuteness. This movie has fueled my elephant collection. Even to this day I still collect pink elephants. Stuffed ones, plastic ones, even crystal ones. All of them are extremely sweet and adorable, just like this movie. <3

Movie Watching Budd(y)(ies): Family plus Leslie

Best Song: I know, everyone would say “Pink Elephants on Parade.” But if I am truly going by song quality, I love “Baby Mine.” So sweet, and so perfect.

 Best Part: See this is where I would put the crazy dream/hallucination sequence. It’s creepy and trippy and fantastic. And watching two innocent animals get drunk is just a little bit funny.